Ron Swanson’s New Desk | Parks and Recreation

-I got a second box of doughnuts
if anybody… What the [Bleep] is this? -This, Mr. Director,
is your new desk. -Okay. -This desk is the epitome of the Swedish concept
of Jamstalldhet, or equality Imagine someone
needs your attention. Somebody say my name.
-Chris. -Swivel. What is it, Jerry -You told me to say your name. -And you did a great job,
superstar. Someone else say something -You look like a freak.
-Swivel! April, that is not
a very good attitude.

I will keep my eye on you. from my circular desk,
where I can see everything Tiny swivel.
See how it works. -What about my office
and its many walls? -That becomes a new
public waiting room. And we got rid of
the giant pillar that was in front of your door -I loved that pillar. It made it really annoying
to stand in my doorway. -[ Chuckles ] Well, get over it,
'cause it's gone. You're gonna be
more accessible than ever. -Excuse me, there's a sign
at Ramsett Park that says, "Do not drink
the sprinkler water." So I made sun tea with it,
and now I have an infection. Sir? Sir, are — are — are — ar
you listening to me, sir? Sir, I'm talking to you! Sir — Sir, are you aware that there is waste
in your water system? -This isn't gonna work. Okay, you did not just swivel
away while I was talking to you. This spaceship keyboard
is driving me crazy.

I'm down to one word a minute, and the word is "perflipisklup
because I can't fly spaceships -Donna, you know
as well as I do, these city-manager shakeup
always peter out. We just have to wait.
-Usually, I'm with you. But this is Chris Traeger,
the Six Million Dollar Man He won't quit.
So you need to swivel your ass down to his office
and have a word with him. -So, [Clears throat]
Webster's Dictionary describes a pork as a —
no, park. Park. [ Chuckles ]
I'm sorry. Geez, okay, so…
[ Sighs ] You know what?
Can we start over? Let's just — Let's go
from that first thing.

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I said "pork," which [Sighs]
By the way, they have a great pork sandwich
in the cafeteria today. –Ron Swanson. -Chris, you have come up
with a plan so spectacularly horrible
that it might ruin the entire department.
-Now, wait a minute. -No, I mean that
as a compliment. So it pains me to say this My department has to go back
to the way it was. -Give them time. They'll adjust. -No, they won't.
They're miserable. Tom only performs
when there's someone to impress.

So marooning him on Freak Island
isn't helping anyone. And you made April
assistant to everyone? You know who April hates? Everyone. And Jerry can only function
if no one's looking. You shine a light on him, and he shrinks up
faster than an Eskimo's scrotum. -Well, that's very perceptive,
Ron, and very graphic. I understand your point,
but there's no way that I could just
roll over on this. -[ Grunts ] Okay. You won't ever hear me
say this again, so savor this moment.

I may have a compromise. -How long do you
have to do this? -A week. -Citizen request.
Swivel, swivel, swivel. -Hello.
I can help you in here, sir..

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