Have you ever had a really terrible DM? Somebody who made you not
even want to play anymore? The Dungeon Master, or Game Master
in non-D&D games has a lot of power And as Spider-Man taught us "With
great power comes great responsibility" Just like a great DM can make a game A terrible DM can ruin one And today I want to talk about those terrible DMs Hello friends, Ginny Di here And first things first: Yes, this is a super clickbaity title I'll own that But until y'all start clicking on
titles called "8 ways to be a good DM" At the same rate that you
click on titles like these, I'm gonna keep doing what YouTube demands from me Besides this kind of title lets
me weasel my way onto your screen And then, surprise! Here's some thoughtfulness and empathy You sucker! When I say terrible DM, that's pretty harsh And I want to be clear that I don't
think everyone who does these things that I'm going to talk about in this
video are like irredeemable monsters that should never run a game My goal here is to talk about
some of the things DMs do that can suck the fun out of their tables
and sometimes even drive players away And then I want to talk about why
those things are such a problem And how they can be fixed Because, we're not about that negativity here I want to correct the problem,
not just complain about it If you're a DM and you recognize
some of yourself in this video Hopefully, this can be a nice little gentle nudge towards things that you might want to work on And if you're a player and you
recognize your own DM in here Then maybe this will help you have
the language to discuss it with them Or even just feel justified in not enjoying a game Remember, we play D&D for fun So if you're not having
fun, you're allowed to stop And look for a group that you
will actually enjoy playing with Alright, let's dive right in The basic framework of a game like D&D is
that the player controls their own character And the DM controls everything else The rules are in place to make sure that
everyone knows what they're allowed to do But when the DM starts taking away the
player's control over their own character That can lead to a lot of tension When I asked people about their
worst experiences with DMs some people told me about DMs
that rolled their dice for them behind the DM screen, so they
couldn't even see the numbers I heard about DMs who just refused
to let players take certain actions that should have been within the rules Or would forbid players from
creating certain races or classes Of course, DMs can set their own house rules as long as they communicate
them clearly to their players But when this kind of thing happens a lot players can stop feeling
like they're participating and instead start feeling like their
DM is just telling them a story that they have no say in To controlling DMs, I just want to remind you if you want to tell a story where
you get to make every decision You can write a book! But when you choose to run a tabletop game you're signing up for a
collaborative storytelling experience Your players need to feel
like their decisions matter or they'll stop caring about the game I think the key to this is letting go of the
idea that you can control where the plot goes I know it can be hard to
loosen your grip on the reins But laying out a situation and then being curious and interested in what your players will do with it can be really fun And your party might surprise you Try to give them the opportunity to do that At this point, the story of the DM
giving their partner special treatment is so clichéd that it's almost
boring that it keeps happening But I hear this story over and over and over Or the DM has some kind of
personal beef with a player or isn't as friendly with one player and lets it influence what happens in the game No matter the reason, no matter whether
they're being extra strict or extra lenient If the DM is treating their party
unequally people are gonna notice and it's gonna fester DMs are a little bit like referees They're the ultimate arbiter And that means that if they
favor or disfavor certain players It's not just unfair or rude it's actually gonna influence
how the story unfolds You don't wanna play with a referee who has already picked the
winning and losing teams In the same way it's no fun to play
with a DM who can't be impartial As someone who has DM'd for a
group that includes my partner And who plays in two different
groups that include the DM's partner I can say with confidence, that it is
fully possible to treat players equally regardless of your relationship to them If you're a DM who finds yourself falling into
the trap of treating one player differently for any reason I think your best bet is just to
fall back on the rules and routines D&D is structured for a reason to facilitate smooth gameplay with a large group You can rely on that structure to make sure
that you're treating your players fairly I remember when I first made my warlock pact PATREON: Behold! GINNY: Oh my god, who are you? PATREON: A warlock patreon GINNY: You mean a warlock patron? PATREON: No, I am a warlock patreon,
you know, the membership platform run by Cobalt Press GINNY: What rewards does a membership include? PATREON: Join me, and you will receive
early and even exclusive access to new fifth edition material More than two dozen pages of locations, lore, spells, monsters
character options, and more, every month Higher tiers even receive a bound
hardcover book of the year's content GINNY: What I would give for such dark gifts PATREON: We recently hit a goal allowing us to create the warlock guide to the planes which will be available to $6 pledges and above this guide will cover planes from
the 11 Hells to the Storm Court and will also include NPCs, magic, and more – How was I to resist such temptations? GINNY: Dark master, I wish to make my pact What must I do? Spill my blood,
make a pilgrimage, a sacrifice? PATREON: Merely visit patreon.com/cobaltpress And choose your membership level, child There is much I can teach you GINNY: Thank you great and
powerful warlock patreon Thank you! When we roleplay we're making ourselves vulnerable And to no one more than the DM We're putting our characters, our self-inserts these fictional people that
we are temporarily inhabiting into the hands of another person and we're trusting that person to
not do anything that will harm us mentally or emotionally That's why it's a DM's responsibility to be conscious and cautious of
where players boundaries lie This might mean that you don't throw giant
spiders at your severely arachnophobic player It might mean that you don't include
adventures where children are endangered Because you play with a parent,
for whom that stuff isn't any fun It absolutely means that you have clear and
frank discussions with your players up front about how much and what kind of sexual content they are okay with including in their games There has been so much written and created on safety tools for tabletop gaming And that could be a whole separate video But I will leave it at this, even if you mean well even if you consider yourself to be a
kind and empathetic and careful person You should be using safety tools, period You can't read your players minds and
everyone is sensitive to different triggers So err on the side of caution And make sure your players feel comfortable communicating their boundaries to you DMs have a lot of power Like that's kind of the job And just like any position of power it's
super important that this power not be abused One of the ways DMs wield power is secrecy Players don't always know what a DM rolled or how many monsters are lurking in the shadows or what sort of magic items or special
abilities an NPC or villain might have This system works because
players trust that their DM is going to use that secrecy
honestly and in good faith Now many DMs fudge rolls or make adjustments to their plan to
better suit what's playing out at the table But if a DM is regularly lying about their rolls inventing reasons that
player actions don't succeed and just generally moving the finish
line continuously out of reach That's an abuse of power Also DMs know everything about their players their passive perception, their
armor class, their resistances But if a DM regularly builds scenarios
specifically to avoid their players strengths That's shitty too Your players are allowed to win sometimes They're allowed to have a
clever idea that pays off It's not fair to ask that players follow the rules But not demand the same thing from the DM If there's a leader at the D&D table it's the DM That's a role that you accept
when you sit behind the screen And it comes with its own duties If there's a problem player,
it's the DM's job to handle it If there's a conflict the DM
should be involved in resolving it Now I don't want to imply that
players don't have any responsibility for their own interpersonal problems But if players are clashing, or if
someone is behaving poorly during sessions Having the DM's support can be incredibly helpful I have heard way too many
stories about people who were bullied or mocked or harassed by another player and got zero backup from their DM That's the kind of thing that
drives someone away from a game or from D&D forever When you run a game you are taking
some degree of responsibility for bringing that group of people together and guiding their interactions So when someone is being unkind or
disrespectful or inappropriate at your table You need to treat that as your problem If there's one thing I've learned
from talking about D&D on the internet It's that everyone plays this game differently That's one of the things I love so much about D&D But it's also one of the main areas
where a campaign can go horribly wrong If you're running a grim dark strategy combat game and your players want a roleplay
heavy backstory focused adventure No one is going to have a good time That doesn't mean DMs have to run
the kind of game other people want Or that players need to want to play
the same kind of game a DM wants All it means is that it's super important
that both the DM and the players agree on what kind of game they're playing Should characters be at real risk of dying? How much combat does everyone want to do? How much roleplay? Is it going to get emotional? Is there going to be romance? Is there going to be mystery? You can run any kind of game you want But everybody will have more fun if you're all very clear about what
that means from the very beginning I get it it can be hard to hear criticism I don't think anybody actually likes being told that they're doing something
that somebody doesn't like But if you aren't willing to hear what
is and isn't working for your players they might just leave instead A great first step is to just ask At the end of your sessions ask your players to tell you both
what they liked about the session and what they didn't like But remember a lot of people
say they want feedback but still get upset when they receive it So step two is to make sure your
players feel comfortable critiquing you One way you can break the ice is by bringing up something that you were unsatisfied with Maybe you felt like combat started to drag Or you admit that the NPC you came up
with on the fly had weak motivations It's super important that when
your players do give you feedback you respond well to it Thank them for being honest with you Ask clarifying questions to make sure that
you fully understand what they're saying And most importantly implement that feedback You don't have to accept every
critique that your players give you Sometimes people give bad critique, that happens But if your players are unhappy with something and they don't feel comfortable
telling you about it The only possible outcome is
that they grow resentful over it and maybe even eventually leave It's part of the DM's job to
play villains, to play monsters to embody the roles of the party's enemies But just because the DM is the characters' enemy doesn't mean they have to be the players' enemy The DM's goal shouldn't be to defeat their players It should be to create a game that everyone enjoys And that includes being a
challenging opponent, of course But it doesn't include being an asshole No matter how cruel their NPCs might
be to their player's characters the DM should never be cruel to their players Nearly everything on this list can be
solved with a good thoughtful session 0 and the use of safety tools You don't even have to come up
with all this stuff on your own So many people have provided guidance
on how to create a gaming table where everyone feels safe and comfortable Even while their characters are in mortal danger I'll link to a few good
resources in the description As my friend Lizard recently said to me "Life is short and D&D is long" Most people don't have a spare five hours a week kicking around to dedicate to
something that makes them miserable The only reason we all make time for
role-playing games is because we love them So if you're stuck with a DM
who makes gaming suck for you This is me giving you permission
to just quit that game and find one that makes you happy And if you're the DM who
might be driving players away This is your opportunity to learn
something and grow as a game master Speaking of mortal danger,
if your party needs a healer remember that there is just one week left
to pledge five dollars or more on my Patreon And get a postcard in the mail with my
field medic Elli's complete stat block So you can drop her right into your own game I'll put that link into the description
and I will see you next week for a brand new music video If you want to hang out at least hang
out on camera where they can see you You're so cute But I am the only witness You're gonna have to stay put though Like if we're gonna hang, we gotta hang long term This is a long video Figure it out are you gonna sit
with me or are you gonna leave Make a call make a decision Just gonna put your butt right in my face
